Getting the Conversation Started

Enlighten. Empower. End.

Fulfilling a vow Abigail made as an eight-year-old to end abuse, this page is a fulfillment of that vow and intended to be a  resource for those in abuse and those who want to help end it. In the United States, nearly 20 people per minute are being physically abused. It equates to 10 million women and men per year. The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds
$8.3 billion per year. On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

Data on this page is provided by National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and by Child and based on data for the United States.

  • Sexual Abuse
  • Childhood Abuse
  • Economic Abuse
  • Reporting Abuse

Sexual Abuse = Nearly 1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men, have experienced sexual violence victimization other than rape at some point in their lives. 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime. 46.7% of female and 44.9% of male rape victims were raped by an acquaintance.

Child Abuse = 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitness. Around 80% of child maltreatment fatalities involve at least one parent as perpetrator. More than 70% of the children who died as a result of child abuse or neglect were two years of age or younger.

Economic Abuse = Between 94-99% of domestic violence survivors have also experienced economic abuse.

Reporting Abuse = Only 36% of all rape victims ever report the crime to the police. Only 35% of people who are injured by intimate partners received medical care for their injuries.


What is abuse?

Abuse is: neglect, misuse, exploit, take advantage of someone; treat with cruelty and violence repeatedly; speak in insulting and offensive ways to or about someone. There are many forms of abuse including: physical, verbal, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, domestic violence and bullying, to name a few.

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Where does abuse happen?

Abuse happens in every day settings including: home, work, school, athletic teams, elderly care, religious institutions and more. 

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Who is being abused?

Abuse happens to all ages of men, women and children. It is a silent epidemic occurring right under our noses in all demographics regardless of: race, religion, occupation, income, education, housing, location, gender and marital all countries.


Why does abuse continue?

When you don’t know the code and cycle pattern, it’s very complex, confusing and hard to see. Abuse grows when abusers use power and control as well as manipulation, isolation, fear, shame and brainwashing to keep their victim scared, silent and stuck in darkness. The abuser makes the victim feel alone, “crazy” and unable to leave the relationship. As a society, we are often fooled by the outward, successful image projected by the abuser. Plus, we don’t want to talk about such nasty deeds so we chose to not believe it. It’s almost too much to bear thinking this is happening to our innocent children, elderly neighbors, close friends, sports heroes and beloved family. It’s why society doesn’t openly talk about abuse, and worse, puts the doubt and shame on the victim.


How do abused people cope?

Before an abused person gets the professional help they so richly deserve, they often suffer silently for years or a lifetime. Many go down a path of addictions, such as alcohol, drugs and sex. Many believe it’s their fault and often struggle through depression, mental illness and attempt suicide rather than speaking up. Feeling hopeless and worthless often produces lifestyle choices that lead some victims of abuse to criminal behavior. By some statistics, more than 1/3 of inmates reported being abused as a child.


I’ve been abused, what’s next for me?

If you’re in danger, please dial 911 now. Congratulations for being incredibly brave by stepping into the light! See our Contact page for national crisis hotline, reach out and tell a trusted friend/family, call your local Crisis Center, research for a counselor who specializes in abuse, read books on the subject, join a support group, contact Abigail, or participate in our seminars and workshops. Some people, even those closest to you, will doubt you and not support your bravery. Surround yourself with healthy people who encourage you on your path! You never again need to feel alone. We care about you and are excited for you to enlighten, empower and end abuse in your life. You got this!


I haven’t been abused, what can I do to end abuse?

Thank you for caring for others!!! First, learn about abuse and create an environment of safety and support where others feel you are approachable. Second, be a kind listening ear and believe people when they come forward about their abuse; it takes courage to confide in someone. Third, assure them they are not alone and contact a trained professional who can help them. Fourth, sincerely follow up with them and let them know you care.


How can abused and non-abused work together to end abuse?

Talk openly and honestly about the topic. Learn the abuse code and cycles. Speak up when you see it happening, talk privately with the person, inform them of a local crisis center or send them to our site. Act with the power you have and shine the light….abuse only lives in darkness and silence.