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Outsmart Manipulators

PART THREE: MANIPULATION
We define abuse as…”Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”

The more practiced the “one person” is, the more “talented” they are in using manipulation tools and techniques. For them, it is an intricate game of ducking and weaving to create confusion so they can gain control and exert their power over someone else.

But have a steady heart…we can and will outsmart them with proper training! Be patient when meeting new people or looking at old friendships to ensure you can really “hear” and “see” them for what they are and not what they present themselves to be.

* BEST SINGLE TIP = Ask yourself, does their behavior match their words? When you hear warning bells, write them down so it is easier for you to track if the person’s values match their actions. Emotions can cloud the facts which abusers are counting on. When we are emotionally involved with a manipulator, our brains get hi-jacked which sends our bodies into Fight, Flight or Freeze mode.

FORMS OF MANIPULATION INCLUDE:
* False Promises Appearing Real
* Normalizing
* Finger Pointing
* Guilt
* Isolation
* Physical Intimidation
* Emotional Fear
* Changing the Rules…Moving the Goal Posts
* Gaslighting
* Grooming
* Shame & Blame
* Threats

Protect yourself and those around you by learning to identify and stop manipulators from using their tools and techniques of manipulation. Contact us for more information or to schedule an insightful workshop at your work, organization or school! 720.334.4135 

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The Power of a Single Person

PART TWO: ONE PERSON

The power of one person behaving negatively can be incredibly destructive. The power of another person speaking, acting and living positively and pro-actively is magnificently constructive.

We define abuse as…”Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”

* Notice we didn’t say the word “abuser” but one “person.” Why?! Because typically calling someone an abuser, makes them harder to spot. Your brain doesn’t want to believe your boss, teacher, parent, neighbor or coach could be an abuser so it prevents us from seeing the person in that light. People tend to think an abuser will be easy to spot because they look creepy, ugly, sinister…right? WRONG! Many abusers are talented and have learned how to make themselves harder to detect by developing successful lives, charming personalities, and attractive outward appearances. They often present one personality in public and another one behind closed doors.

* Other words for abuser include: harasser, neglecter, tormenter, manipulator and bully.

* If something feels off about your interactions with someone, trust your gut! Your intuition is ringing warning bells for you. Learn to recognize them.

* People who mistreat others do it one-on-one. By making another person physically or emotionally alone or isolated, they have more influence and intimidation, especially if they are in a higher position. Boss to employee. Coach to athlete. Parent to child.

* When someone, especially a child, confides in you about an incident with someone…listen to them! Violations typically come from a person of authority and those who are considered trustworthy like a teacher, coach, friend of the family, family member, boss or neighbor. Too often the person harmed isn’t believed. It takes bravery to come forward. Be a safe person for others to tell their experiences to. You don’t have to have the answers but be an open ear and direct them to professional help from a counselor, human resource specialist or crisis center advocate.

* Knowledge is Power…keep on learning! Prevent. Protect. Provide Support for Others.

We love hearing from you! Please leave your comments, insights, feedback, and questions. You can also email or call us with your personal experiences with repeated mistreatment.

Please remember, you are not alone. We care about you! We are here as a support to you while you learn more about all forms of abuse. We are also here with encouragement as you move along your path to Authentic Health!  

720.219.3631 or contact me directly at Abigail@AbigailGManning.com

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Redefining is the Key to Easily Recognize Unhealthy Behaviors

In the next four blogs, we will be walking through our definition of abuse which includes unhealthy behavior, harassment, neglect, bullying, and mistreatment. By clearly defining the problem it is easier to recognize, understand and prevent all forms of abuse.

We truly care about you and encourage you to live your best life. No one ever deserves to be abused, mistreated or neglected. It is our intent to provide the skills to help you create the fulfilling life you deserve!

We define abuse as…“Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”

PART ONE: REPEATED MISTREATMENT
* This means it happens more than one time…it’s repeated! There is a pattern or a cycle to the mistreatment.

* Mistreatment is typically one of the “Big 5” forms of abuse: Psychological, Verbal, Physical, Sexual or Financial. Throughout the life-span of a relationship, the mistreatment often changes in intensities going from mild to severe and everything in-between. It also changes forms…bouncing from one type of the Big 5 to another. By using different forms and intensities, it makes it harder to track and more confusing for the person being mistreated to recognize a pattern. That’s the offender’s point…to confuse you!

* People debate which form of abuse is “worse”…trust me, they are all “worse!” Examples include: “She just belittles me all the time, it’s not like she’s hitting me.” “My father hit me a lot but it wasn’t as bad as my friend who experienced sexual abuse.” Justifying, minimizing and comparing any negative behavior is a form of self-protection. Fear will make many of us bury our heads…but that continues the cycle of abuse. All forms of abuse are unacceptable and by knowing how to pro-actively address the mistreatment, the abused is empowered to successfully face the fear and end the cycle.

* Mistreatments start small (think of it as them testing the water to see how you will respond) and grown big. They ALWAYS grow big. There are warning signs but most of us haven’t been trained to recognize them…until now!

* Side Note: Assault includes physical contact and does not always have warning signs and certainly does not need to be repeated in order for it to be abuse.

We love hearing from you! Please leave your comments, insights, feedback, and questions. You can also email or call us with your personal experiences with repeated mistreatment.

Please remember, you are not alone. We care about you! We are here as a support to you while you learn more about all forms of abuse. We are also here with encouragement as you move along your path to Authentic Health!  

720.219.3631 or contact me directly at Abigail@AbigailGManning.com

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Sexual Harassment Workshop Registration Is Now Open!

Sexual Harassment: Protect Yourself

Saturday, May 12, 2018, from 9:00am – 12:00pm in Denver, CO

  • Sexual harassment can dramatically change your life.
  • Your career and personal happiness depend on living without abuse and harassment.
  • Learn to recognize, prevent and protect yourself from being harassed, becoming a harasser or fighting a false claim.
  • Together we will strengthen the individual and change the culture!

Participants’ Feedback: “innovative, inspiring and informative…engaging in telling what we can do to make the workplace healthier for everyone…eye-opening…a new take on sexual harassment and abuse…pleasantly surprised on a typically unpleasant topic…would like to see more of this training every year…”

Limited Seats, please register now at:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sexual-harassment-protect-yourself-tickets-44689051155

Contact us to bring this workshop to your office!

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Video Conversation on Creating Authentic Health

Jess Dewell, the bubbly host of Voice of Bold Business Radio, invited me on her show to have a conversation on how to Build Awareness & Act! I truly enjoyed our conversation and the opportunity to explain my ideas and theories including how to create Authentic Health, throwing out the measuring stick of “normal” and pulling Purple Threads.

What You Will Hear:

  • Awareness, empathy and a unique view of the world.
  • Throw away the measuring stick we use as our normal.
  • What to do when someone puts walls up and stops conversations.
  • Purple Threads are lies that other people have told us, limiting statements.
  • The ‘I am’ mirror exercise finds Purple Threads.
  • Abigail’s acronym for T.R.U.S.T.
    • Truth
    • Respect
    • Unity
    • Safety
    • Transparency
  • Rebuilding trust when it’s broken is tricky.

Notable & Quotable:

  • Abigail Manning: I can understand simplicity, it integrates better into life.
  • Abigail Manning: On the inside, you can’t lie to yourself.
  • Abigail Manning: Throw away a preconceived notion of normal based on your circumstances versus who you are, what ability you have, and who you dream yourself to be.
  • Jess Dewell: Awareness allows us to create a place of safety for yourself and others.
  • Abigail Manning: Find the threads of unworthiness and rip them out.
  • Abigail Manning: When you are a person of power and authority, what you say is believed.
  • Abigail Manning: Find the goodness in each person, and connect on that goodness.
  • Jess Dewell: We don’t see the impact we have on other people after we are out of a situation.
  • Abigail Manning: Look at a person’s behavior (actions)…not the words.

Click here to listen in! 

https://youtu.be/Ry260LV_n_E

If this conversation resonates with you, please comment or share this video to help spread the message.       Enlighten. Empower. End.

Please call 720.219.3631 to schedule your next 
Workshop, Training or Consulting.