Until we know the positive and pro-active steps we can take to remove un-health in our lives…we rely on coping. Coping outcomes are learned behaviors that we all do in order to deal with hurt, hardships, mistreatments, trauma and abuse. It’s our way of getting through the day. Pushing down the pain and disappointments. When people are mistreated they have to deal the big range of emotions and feelings as well as the negative outcomes that spring from the harm and hurt put on them. When people experience repeated mistreatment, it is even harder to cope because it has crossed the line into the world of abuse. To help make it more easy to recognize, I define abuse as, “Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”
Here are some insights and examples of coping.
* Before a mistreated or an abused person gets the professional help they so richly deserve, they often suffer silently for years or a lifetime. Often a mistreated person moves through life believing the abuser’s lies and take them on as truth which greatly limits their ability to reach their best-self life and worse, they self-sabotage.
* Many go down a path of masking their pain with addictions of alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex/prostitution/porn and less obvious ones of food/overeating for emotional comfort and overspending/shopping for a hit of short-lived happy feelings.
* Many follow a different path of taking their anger, hurt and resentment out on others through violence, shootings and more abuse…the cycle continues and grows by harming another person and the next generation.
* Many people feel alone and believe the mistreatment is their fault and struggle with depression, mental illness and attempt suicide rather than speaking up.
* Feeling hopeless and worthless often produces lifestyle choices that lead some victims of abuse to criminal behavior. Often criminal behavior is done as a financial means to pay for their coping tool of addictions. By some statistics, more than 1/3 of inmates reported being abused as a child. I believe this number is much higher!
* If someone you know has an addiction, depression, mental illness or thoughts of suicide, please let them know they are not alone and you care. Those healing and supportive words can save a life! Then follow up by having them get in touch with a counselor, hotline, crisis center or 911 if it is an emergency.
* If YOU are feeling any of the above, you can always call 911, a crisis center, suicide hotline or if not an emergency, please know you can contact me. I care about you. You are not alone! We have a network of talented folks who we partner with on the topics of addictions, suicide, PTS, and more. I want you to get support from quality professionals. You deserve hope, happiness and health!
I am committed to working with organizations to create healthy lives for all people. My goal is instead of reacting with coping…we learn the skillset for responding with healthy behaviors for positive outcomes.
Please contact me to learn more through our workshops, training and consulting!