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The Power of a Single Person

PART TWO: ONE PERSON

The power of one person behaving negatively can be incredibly destructive. The power of another person speaking, acting and living positively and pro-actively is magnificently constructive.

We define abuse as…”Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”

* Notice we didn’t say the word “abuser” but one “person.” Why?! Because typically calling someone an abuser, makes them harder to spot. Your brain doesn’t want to believe your boss, teacher, parent, neighbor or coach could be an abuser so it prevents us from seeing the person in that light. People tend to think an abuser will be easy to spot because they look creepy, ugly, sinister…right? WRONG! Many abusers are talented and have learned how to make themselves harder to detect by developing successful lives, charming personalities, and attractive outward appearances. They often present one personality in public and another one behind closed doors.

* Other words for abuser include: harasser, neglecter, tormenter, manipulator and bully.

* If something feels off about your interactions with someone, trust your gut! Your intuition is ringing warning bells for you. Learn to recognize them.

* People who mistreat others do it one-on-one. By making another person physically or emotionally alone or isolated, they have more influence and intimidation, especially if they are in a higher position. Boss to employee. Coach to athlete. Parent to child.

* When someone, especially a child, confides in you about an incident with someone…listen to them! Violations typically come from a person of authority and those who are considered trustworthy like a teacher, coach, friend of the family, family member, boss or neighbor. Too often the person harmed isn’t believed. It takes bravery to come forward. Be a safe person for others to tell their experiences to. You don’t have to have the answers but be an open ear and direct them to professional help from a counselor, human resource specialist or crisis center advocate.

* Knowledge is Power…keep on learning! Prevent. Protect. Provide Support for Others.

We love hearing from you! Please leave your comments, insights, feedback, and questions. You can also email or call us with your personal experiences with repeated mistreatment.

Please remember, you are not alone. We care about you! We are here as a support to you while you learn more about all forms of abuse. We are also here with encouragement as you move along your path to Authentic Health!  

720.219.3631 or contact me directly at Abigail@AbigailGManning.com

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Redefining is the Key to Easily Recognize Unhealthy Behaviors

In the next four blogs, we will be walking through our definition of abuse which includes unhealthy behavior, harassment, neglect, bullying, and mistreatment. By clearly defining the problem it is easier to recognize, understand and prevent all forms of abuse.

We truly care about you and encourage you to live your best life. No one ever deserves to be abused, mistreated or neglected. It is our intent to provide the skills to help you create the fulfilling life you deserve!

We define abuse as…“Repeated mistreatment, where one person uses manipulations to gain and maintain power and control over another person.”

PART ONE: REPEATED MISTREATMENT
* This means it happens more than one time…it’s repeated! There is a pattern or a cycle to the mistreatment.

* Mistreatment is typically one of the “Big 5” forms of abuse: Psychological, Verbal, Physical, Sexual or Financial. Throughout the life-span of a relationship, the mistreatment often changes in intensities going from mild to severe and everything in-between. It also changes forms…bouncing from one type of the Big 5 to another. By using different forms and intensities, it makes it harder to track and more confusing for the person being mistreated to recognize a pattern. That’s the offender’s point…to confuse you!

* People debate which form of abuse is “worse”…trust me, they are all “worse!” Examples include: “She just belittles me all the time, it’s not like she’s hitting me.” “My father hit me a lot but it wasn’t as bad as my friend who experienced sexual abuse.” Justifying, minimizing and comparing any negative behavior is a form of self-protection. Fear will make many of us bury our heads…but that continues the cycle of abuse. All forms of abuse are unacceptable and by knowing how to pro-actively address the mistreatment, the abused is empowered to successfully face the fear and end the cycle.

* Mistreatments start small (think of it as them testing the water to see how you will respond) and grown big. They ALWAYS grow big. There are warning signs but most of us haven’t been trained to recognize them…until now!

* Side Note: Assault includes physical contact and does not always have warning signs and certainly does not need to be repeated in order for it to be abuse.

We love hearing from you! Please leave your comments, insights, feedback, and questions. You can also email or call us with your personal experiences with repeated mistreatment.

Please remember, you are not alone. We care about you! We are here as a support to you while you learn more about all forms of abuse. We are also here with encouragement as you move along your path to Authentic Health!  

720.219.3631 or contact me directly at Abigail@AbigailGManning.com